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Scum-sucking pigs, give me your cash

Men are worse than garbage. You are useless, pathetic worms and I can get myself off better on the edge of a tabletop than with one of you. Call me NOW so I can tell you what a piece of drivel you are while I pry your now-empty wallet from your tear-stained fingers. Call and listen to me alternately berating you, ignoring you, enjoying the company of my hot girlfriend, or eating a sandwich, which is also more useful than you are. Really, doing whatever I want. You don't need your money, you piece of shit. Give it to me so I can actually fucking do something useful with it.