Phone Sex

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Size Does Matter

Wife blonde like me but your kids all got afros?

Gee, I wonder how THAT happened.

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Your wife looks like Me but your kids all got afros?
I can't say I'm surprised.
That's cuz you're smaller than this banana.
Ha ha, don't lie, I know you are!
And not anywhere near as hard and yummy.

People always say size doesn't matter.

But you and I know that's not true.

Ready to face reality?

Or just whisper it in my ear?

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, LOL.

But then there's those kids.
Which you and I both know aren't fooling ANYBODY.

Size Queen and LOVING IT!
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Big Girls Need Big Toys

But your toy isn't very big, is it?!

Personalized Penis Evaluation

Guess you'll just have to find some other way to keep my attention.

^That moment when Urban Dictionary gets it right.