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You’re looking for someone to take control for you. You want to speak to someone who can erase all of your life’s stress by making you into an obedient slave. Maybe you’re tired of making all of the decisions in your life and you want a change. You need something to give you purpose and direction.
I am there for whose who seek an escape. When you feel overwhelmed by all of the decision making, control, and the stress that comes with it — I am here to take it away. I am what you need in order to make it through the week. Sometimes I’m what you need just to make it through the day.
There will be no struggle. There will be no power play. It will be as if you didn't have any self control in the first place. I require one very simple thing from you in return for giving your life purpose: obedience. Serving me will leave you feeling a sense of satisfaction that you can’t get anywhere else.
I accept three types of worship:
When we speak together, I will ask you which of these types of worship you will offer me. I will also ask what the secret word is, to confirm that you read this entire profile. The word is “deference”. If you do not know the secret word, I am very likely to hang up on you.
I have a preference for appointments. If I am “offline” take that as an opportunity to send me mail requesting an appointment. Appointments will receive priority over live requests.
For some of you, at this point, it will be the easiest decision you’ve ever made to call me. For others, you are still struggling with the choice. For those of you who are struggling, understand that the sooner you can get me on the phone, the sooner I can make your life more fulfilling and give you the purpose that you seek. Your service to me will release stress, worry, and anxiety by removing the ability to choose what you feel in the first place. Relax, and enjoy being an empty vessel for me to control.