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TrueSubmissiveBBW

i dont know how much longer i can keep the slut in

Hello there, My name is Lisa and i am new here, i will add more pics soon if i decide to stay. For now, let me tell you a bit about myself and why i am here. I am 42 years old and have been a 24/7 submissive in the BDSM lifestyle since i was 19. I have had two long term Masters and a Mistress in that time. I have been unowned for close to two years now. To be perfectly honest with you i tried to deny my true self, i tried to make all of those submissive feelings, those needs and cravings just go away. Needless to say that isn't working out for me and i now find myself awakening again. This is a dangerous time for me, I become more flighty, flirty, and not so keen on thinking before taking steps forward and jumping into situations. So here i am, trying to take that edge off, to get my "fix" without going out and jumping into a relationship. ~smiles and exhales~ So here goes.. :) So who am I ~ I'm an enigma of craziness in the world of calm, I'm passionate, creative, daring and just a little bit unpredictable. I can swing comfortably from pure genius to complete idiot within the blink of an eye. I am vulgar but quietly so. Lines, boundaries and limitations have changed, merged and become more clear. Sometimes these thoughts need easing out of my system :) Don't get too excited though, I only allow a select few to violate me. ~grins~ Despite loving the twisted and depraved depths that my thoughts and fantasies are able to reach, I, at times hate them just as much. I would truly enjoy sinking into the comfort of loving arms with just as much passion and with just as much need as I would for a play session and long awaited flogging. Possibly an insane submissive, i enjoy a battle of wits as much as wills. Contrary and cynical, with a sense of humor that surfaces at really the wrong moments.. no, I mean REALLY wrong moments! Some might say brat, but I'm really not. I enjoy challenging, watching the change in someone when they have to think on their feet rather than sitting happily in their comfort zone. The delicious moment when a Dominants expression so clearly says “Did she really say that to ME?” You can watch their mind work on what to do about it… and then the shiver of anticipation when you watch them smile, and look at you in just that way, that tells you that basically, you're screwed.. or will be eventually if you're really lucky lol. My bdsm interests lie in and around control. Without the mind controlled, the body can't follow. To serve, to obey, to give over your body and soul to another - nothing can compare. This girl loves nothing more than to show her devotion. I have a fighting/resistance fetish and just love the intense rawness and the complete immersion i get. The more hands on the better and I guess you could say what I favor is the rough side that people tend not to admit to loving. My submission is not a game or something to pass the time, its felt deeply, completely and I can think of no other way to be. Feel free to give me a call or send me a message so we can get to know each other.