Phone Sex

What you WILL get with me

I'm smart, experienced, fun, honest, empathetic, and open-minded. I'll bring all of that to every call.

What you WON'T get with me

I won't masturbate. I won't role play. I won't hypnotize you. I won't lie to you about anything but my name.

What do you mean "smart"?

My results on IQ and standardized test consistently put me at 97-99%, so I easily qualify for Mensa. I graduated magna cum laude from a prestigious (but not quite Ivy-League) university.

I taught myself programming and data analysis, was mentored in systems analysis and HR skills, and enjoyed a few years with a six-figure salary after I managed a data systems department which went from "failing" to "excelling" in my first year. A prestigious client called me "a mythical creature who can speak both technical and English".

(Yeah, right, six-figure, then why are you on NF now? Unfortunate health issues left me unable to work full-time. But I need to feel productive, even if it's just part-time. I do what I can do.)

What do you mean "experienced"?

Experienced at BDSM: I've been actively involved in BDSM since 2002. I've had real-world in-person multi-year BDSM relationships both ways -- I've been collared as a submissive, and been a Mistress with a collared domestic servant.

Experienced at kink community: I've been actively involved in the Midwest BDSM / kink community since 2011. I've gone from hosting a little local meet n greet to presenting at several of the midwest's largest lifestyle events. I host a monthly play party, and I'm on staff for a large weekend hotel-takeover event.

Experienced at romantic relationships: I have been ethically non-monogamous since 2002. My husband and I married in 2006, and currently, his girlfriend lives with him, and I spend most evenings with my boyfriend. Plus, sometimes I travel to see other lovers. Our logistics are complicated, but it works for us.

Experienced at office geekery: I've been an IT manager, mentor, and coach, so if you want to talk through an upcoming interview or a complex professional situation, I may actually be able to help.

What do you mean "fun"?

I usually choose to say whatever will amuse me the most. This profile is not nearly as light-hearted as I usually am on the phone. Plus, I'm adventuresome in a fun way: I've tried everything sexually which sounded appealing, plus a lot that didn't. I laugh a lot during sex.

What do you mean "honest"?

I will answer any question honestly, and share any of my perspectives or opinions. If you're asking my advice, I will tell you if I think you're right, or wrong, or a mixture. I don't give simple answers, I give honest ones.

What do you mean "empathetic"?

I believe that most people don't intend to do evil, so I'll assume you deserve a listening ear. I try to genuinely wish good for everyone, and try to imagine what I would feel if I were in your shoes.

What do you mean "open-minded"?

Your kink may not be my kink, but your kink is okay (as long as nobody's consent is violated). I'm happy to talk about your kink, even though I won't masturbate to it while we talk.

What is your schedule?

If you arrange ahead of time, I can usually be available from Mon-Fri from 7 am - 2 pm. If you are looking for me to log on, those are the hours to check. I may log on other times very sporadically. Feel free to ask if you have a time in mind.

Where is your blog?

I used to have a blog, but I don't anymore. Sorry.

Why should I call you?

I have awesome boobs. Hands that can palm a basketball can barely cover them. At almost every play party I attend, a room full of people end up groping me and commenting on how unusually dense and firm my breast flesh is. I have awesome boobs; your resistance is futile.