The
very first thing you should know is that I am not now,
nor have I ever been, a nurse. I did go to nursing school
for a while, but as lenient as they tried to be with me,
I eventually got kicked out. The official reason for
my expulsion was, “gross negligence and
incompetence”, but I'm pretty sure that diddling my
teachers, as well as that time I “played
nurse” with most of the football team at a very
crowded party, probably had something to do with it
too.
You
should also know that I didn’t go into nursing
because I want to “help people” (like so
many of the simpering do-good twits I attended school
with). I went into nursing because I enjoy
experimenting on people and inflicting pain; especially
men.
Even
though I can never become an accredited nurse now,
(stupid background checks!) doesn’t mean I
can’t do some really evil things to
you.
If
you enjoy feeling helpless, hapless and hopeless, call me
now.
(Just
don’t take any medical advice from me … unless
you’re ready to prove Darwin’s theory yet
again.)
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