Phone Sex

The very first thing you should know is that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a nurse. I did go to nursing school for a while, but as lenient as they tried to be with me, I eventually got kicked out. The official reason for my expulsion was, “gross negligence and incompetence”, but I'm pretty sure that diddling my teachers, as well as that time I “played nurse” with most of the football team at a very crowded party, probably had something to do with it too.

You should also know that I didn’t go into nursing because I want to “help people” (like so many of the simpering do-good twits I attended school with). I went into nursing because I enjoy experimenting on people and inflicting pain; especially men.

Even though I can never become an accredited nurse now, (stupid background checks!) doesn’t mean I can’t do some really evil things to you.

If you enjoy feeling helpless, hapless and hopeless, call me now.

(Just don’t take any medical advice from me … unless you’re ready to prove Darwin’s theory yet again.)